Monday, May 19, 2008

The "pity" tag

Yes, folks. This is slightly different than a pity party.
See, my new bloggy buddy, Carrie, is a pretty funny lady. And while I like to think of myself as funny, too, I have learned very quickly that I am the warm-up to Carrie's headlining show.
How'd I learn this? Cuz I opened my big fat mouth about how I wanted to play Red Rover and got tagged for Secret Six!It was kinda like a pity tag, since I was an after-thought. But just like the ugly chick who gets asked to the prom by her third cousin, I'll take what I can get.
(Just pretend to be pissed off with me while I secretly do the happy dance. I have FRIENDS! My mother will be so thrilled. And yes, my cousin is fine, thank you very much.)
So now, I have to describe six things about myself that no one knows.
Unlike Carrie, who is popular, I should have no problem coming up with six things no one knows, because I am not.
My issue will be coming up with six things I won't mind my mother-in-law coming across should she decide to log on. (hmmmm...time to get a secret identity blog?)
Anyway, here goes:

1)My right nipple is inverted. Thought I'd just throw that one out for you. But in my nipple's defense, it didn't always use to be this way. See, both headlights use to function properly, and then when I got pregnant and the baby took over my body the right one just kinda went all turtle on me. It's still hiding and no one knows why. I only want it to come back cuz I look slightly retarded when it's cold outside.

2)I have had thigh hives. (See Carrie's Secret Six list for proper reference on this one, folks. Turns out I am allergic to some really long word that basically covers a ton of stuff I have been using forever, like medicines and the rubber stabilizer in latex (what???). And yes, Carrie, thigh hives suck. do I get new pants?

3)I know all of the words to the Christmas song from Alvin and the Chipmunks. I didn't know I knew this until this evening when I caught the movie on pay-per-view and I began belting it out with Alvin, Simon, and Theodore. Sweeter got this look on his fact that told me that had I done this in the actual movie theater, he would have claimed only to have taken the seat next to me because it was the only one available.

4) I have a new blog! Wait, you already knew that. Okay...I like berries! Wait, you knew that, too. Does "I'm shameless" count, or did you all know that already, too?

5)I can remember, in order, the name of every single teacher I had from kindergarten to high school. I can't, however, remember where I put my cell phone five minutes ago. Wait, why is my bra ringing? Is my nipple calling to say it is coming back home?

6) I want to be Carrie when I grow up. (Can you say "cyber-stalker," girls and boys?)

There, I'm done. Not sure how I'll feel about this in the morning, but that's what the delete option is for. Right?
Until then, I tag:

Gas Passer aka UUer (Love ya Sara! go Spot, go!)

Itchin to Scrap! I(cuz she's my Berrie awesome advisor, and all.)

Sometimes Disgruntled (gotta love me some mommy confessions.)

Blah Blah Blog (Cuz she designed my blog...oh and cuz her husband is hot. So is mine, but it's kinda like i'm used to that???

Single Mom Living (cuz we moderators gotta stick together!)

Oh and Carrie? Remind me to not bitch and moan for not getting tagged. These things take forever!



Business on Market St. said...

well sheesh guess that means I got to blog about myself now huh?

Amy said...

Great post. Hope things turn around for you.

sara said...

Aw, I learned some new stuff about you even though I've known you for years :-) Don't worry, my lips are sealed. Thanks for the I have to get busy. Hope all is well sweetie.

Unknown said...

I saw you on the mom blogs message board. You are too funny! Oh check out the meme that I did last night!

and yest it took forever and a day to finish it!

Shauna said...

6 things??? Hmm...Will start working on it today! AFTER I get to work on your other two blogs! :) husband is hot isnt he!?!?!? Love him.

Michelle W said...

LOL! I actually just finished a similar post in which I tagged you! Check it out
At least it's for two different thing.

my2boyz said...

Too funny. Is Carrie stalking you? If she gives you too much grief let me know! I know where she lives :) he he. Great blog enjoy reading it!

Candid Carrie said...

I have a matched set to your nipples. I however, am just a D, not a double and the the turtle nipple (LOLx4) is on the small boob. Susan's boobs are decent, not as full and perky as mine. I'm just saying they are decent. And she'll show you if you ask.

As far as being me when you grow up, good luck with that one. I am not a grown up. I am really a thirteen year old boy with a bad ass attitude and gender confusion.