Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Mama...what's that? Oh, that's just your va-jajay, sweetie...

And if that post title didn't get your attention, I sure as hell don't know what will.
My sister Pati is spending the night and helping with buttercup in exhange for a ride to her college orientation this afternoon. And since Buttercup loves her Tia, Pati did me the favor of taking over bath duty last night.
I was having a nice, sweet-ol' time tweeting and blogging and otherwise not being truly productive, while giggles and laughs drifted from the bathroom.
Then I heard it.
"Pauline?" came the strained voice of my sister. she sounded weird. As if she had just stepped into a big pile of dog shit.
I wasn't concerned as I made my way to the bathroom. Just curious.
"What's up?" I asked as I poked my head in.
"Um...she keeps asking me "what's that?" and..."
"She always does that," I interrupted Pati, actually thinking that "wazzaht" was probably a more accurate description of what the word sounded like when Buttercup got stuck on it. "Just tell her and keep saying it until she stops asking."
"Well, that's the problem," my sister told me. "She wants to know what her privates are."
Oh, well, that's different.
Excuse me for a minute. It's time for Mommy Freak-out moment #196.
Buttercup wants to know what her va-jayjay is. She was sitting there all cute and pretty and reaching past her little baby belly to see what else was going on down there. I know it is all perfectly normal. I know that this is no big deal. But that's not what's freaking me out.
It's the fact that she wants a WORD for her special parts. She's not even 14 months yet! She shouldn't want a WORD!!!
I seriously think I need a drink.

"Well...," I started, "I have no idea how to respond to that."
Thankfully, I didn't have to. Buttercup had already lost interest when she found her tummy again.
I decided to ask Sweeter his thoughts on the "wazzaht" question of the day. All I got was a momentary look of sheer panic.
Good.
I wasn't alone.

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7 comments:

Lilith Silvermane said...

Yea... that was REALLY hard for me when my children were younger.

Luckily, my ex has no qualms about teaching the "technical" words to the children.

Let me tell you, there is NOTHING as disconcerting as having your 4 year old use the technical term for her va-jajay, in the grocery store... when it somehow got really really quiet.

I knew one day I'd laugh about it.... I'm still waiting :)

Midwest Mommy said...

Oh no! I think I would be just as shocked as you...I don't knwo what I am going to do when that day comes. Although my 2 year old saw her 5 month of brother in the bath, pointed at his stuff and said, ewwww, he poo'd. Gotta love them.

MamaLaina said...

We just call'em "parts" around these parts. There are boy "parts" and girl "parts" and once in a blue moon (HA!) I'll call them by their real name just so I feel like it won't be a total shock in 6th grade health class!

sara said...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is this what is in my future? Sometime next year already - no way! You have me cracking up sweetie :-)

Pauline said...

Lilith, i suppose i could teach the technicak word...but that would just sound so weird coming from a little toddler! (I need another drink!)

Midwest mommy-i love it! he pood! that is great.

mamalaina-maybe i'll go with "special parts." we called it our "front" when we were kids. whatever.

sara-the whole point is to crack people up. hope to see you tomorrow!

Rose said...

I have an easy out...I speak Italian to my daughter, and we call it a "fiorelino" - literally means "little flower". Sounds so much better to me than the actual English word or anything else we have.

You crack me up...I love the way you write and your sense of humor! Much needed in this world of motherhood!

Pauline said...

rose, i love that! i don't even know what the word is in spanish, see how my family NEVER talked about this stuff? LOL. I may have to call my aunt and ask her.
ohand i looked at your blog, and you baby is beautiful.