Saturday, April 25, 2009

What I know

It's weird how life can go on and simultaneously stand still.
I haven't posted here since December of 2008. And in that time, Buttercup has turned into an incredible little girl, I have successfully moved myself and most of our belongings from Michigan to our new home in Arizona, and Sweeter is back home with us after a long, long time working out of state.

But for all three of my loyal readers checking out my blog on a daily basis, my life ended (at least for a while) in December of last year.

I'm not sure why. It's not like I didn't have anything to write about. It was more like I had too much that I couldn't. Feelings would have been hurt, dramas would have become more dramatic, and issues would only have become more complicated.

"Write about what you know," they always tell you in college fiction writing classes. Sure thing....but no one ever bothered to tell me what to write about when "what I know" was off limits.

I haven't been writing much else, which I suppose makes sense. Yeah, I'm blogging at Berrie Sweet Picks, but I can't really count that as deep, soul-searching prose. I may be sharing my opinion on products, but I'm not exactly getting in touch with my inner-self while doing it.

It's the tail-end of April now. Buttercup will be 2 in June. I'll be planning the world's smallest birthday party this Mexican has ever thrown, and missing the craziness we left 2,000 miles ago almost as much as I'm glad to be away from it. I've been in Arizona for six weeks, I miss the smell of the water in the air but don't miss the inevitable depression that comes with living in ground zero of the armpit of the current ecomonimc crisis.

And aside from the "publish now" option provided to me by Blogger, I haven't done a damned thing worth writing home about. No articles in the local magazines. No stories assigned by the Big Boys in Detroit. No frustrations from a hard-working writer looking for work...because I really haven't been. I've had too many excuses in the past 12 months or so to keep me work and guilt free.

First my dad died. That's a pretty damned good excuse. He was only 50 and no one was expecting to be planning his funeral just six months after his biggest birthday to date and six months before my 30th (where he was supposed to give me a hard time and laugh doesn't matter now, anyway.)

Then Buttercup turned one. Really. I was depressed and it was easy to ignore the opportunities to throw myself into working when I could just as easily let myself believe that a 12 month old was making it too hard for me to sit down at the computer to type.

And when Sweeter got his new job and I had to play single-mom for a few months? Forget it. Life as I knew it (and all related blogs) were immediately put on hold while I got us ready to trek cross-country from what we knew and loved (and sometimes hated) to the unknown (and all related possibilities.)

Here's to tomorrow. Let's see what may unfold.


1 comment:

sara said...

I'm still here and of course as always I love hearing what's new. You are an amazing writer and I love following along each step of the way!