Sunday, April 6, 2008

I usually hate email forwards (I'd rather get a telemarket on the phone) but this one was too good to pass up.
Read up, Moms-and laugh it up while you are at it!

The Birth Order of Children
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as
your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last
time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them,
and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper,
a frown--you pick up the baby
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten
to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to
rewind the mechanical swing.
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until
you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it
off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt, give it a suck and pop it back in.
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour,
whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to
complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,
Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.
Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,
you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to
leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child
isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children
Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!


sara said...

Too funny! I know what you mean. I've been lurking the baby aisle and Maternity section at Target afraid to go in, as if when I do I will curse this pregnancy. But as soon as I found out about our news on Friday I wanted to go check out some clothes!

Also funny is the epidural. One CRNA that I work with had her water break during an OR case. She paged the anesthesiologist and told him she needed to go up to labor and delivery. He said what the heck, why not save us both some time. He put in her epidural in the hall way and took her up to L & D in a wheel chair epidural and all before she was even admitted!

Pauline said...

I know what you mean, too. I was at the maternity clothes store wishing I was showing for the longest time.
If I happen to have another, I most likely will be praying that I am waiting half as long as the first time.
Wanna go baby shopping together?